Judul di atas sebenarnya gak merefleksikan isi post gue kali ini. Itu adalah pemikiran random gue, ngebayangin kalo gue berada dalam posisi penjual yang sedang tawar menawar dengan pembeli. Yak, semacam penjual ababil yang berusaha lebih ke-unyu-an (unyu, trend 2010)
Well oh well, ini postblog gue yang pertama di awal tahun 2011.
Udah seminggu lebih gue gak nulis di blog ini, semacam lagi ngejalanin hubungan LDR (Long Distance Relationship) dengan laptop gue *kangen-kangenan, peluk-peluk, cium-cium, eh bibir gue jontor kesetrum.
Gue memutuskan untuk delay post pengalaman-pengalaman jatuh cinta gue selanjutnya. Persediaan tisu gue habis. Yak! Semakin gue cerita, semakin banyak tisu yang gue abisin dan semakin banyak nyokap teriak: "ini tisu pada kemana? kok gak pamit dulu sama ibu??"
Gue jadi keinget salah satu post gue di akun tumblr punya gue (http://oshardh.tumblr.com/) tanggal 21 november tentang pikiran-pikiran gue selama gue hidup 20 tahun ini.
Post itu semacam "introspeksi dini" untuk mengakhiri tahun 2010. Hmm, bisa dibilang curhatan dan pertarungan gue dengan diri gue sendiri yang gue taro di akun tumblr gue. Pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang sebenernya cukup pusing buat gue pikirin sendiri dan harus ada semacam tindakan nyata daripada menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu secara lisan dan pemikiran sudut pandang lain.
Gue berharap, dengan gue tulis hal macam begini, gue bisa menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan gue dengan tindakan yang real. Dan bisa menjadi resolusi 2011 kecil-kecilan gue, at least bisa ngalahin diri gue sendiri, yang bakalan tercapai nanti, tentunya mulai dari sekarang. Mudah-mudahan.
Hmm selengkapnya,
Dearest Myself, My 20th So Far
Dear myself, I started living together with you. It has been 20 years, 2 months, 12 days, 20 hours I unite with you. During that time there were things that I like and I hate about you. But most are things that I hate about you.
Dearest myself, Have we ever agree to a direction where we’re going to go? Have we ever agree on what I wanted to do and want you to do? Right now, we are like two sides of old coins which are no longer circulating in the market. When that happens the heart is raging, this mind giving up, this body is weak.
Dear myself, I just wish our goal line. Want a condition in which when the mind has found something, this heart sincere and smiling at us, and when this body was eager to do something. That’s the most enjoyable, right?
Far away and deep in this heart, it feels want to feel extraordinary things as felt as most people: try new things without any sense of fear, always think positive, broad-minded with confidence, stepped days vigorously. But when that time comes? Another month? One more year? One decade more?
Dear myself, we aren’t a bird without wings. I think we agree that we can’t fly not because of confinement. Then why are we not to flap our wings? You’re the left wing and I am the right wing. Let us together try new things and starting to like each challenges!
Dear, dear, dear myself, all need a long process. But will you fight with me to find courage in trying to undergo a heavy long process? Will you fight with me for next year and so on all the time?
Dearest myself, I do not want us just hot and passionate just at our tip of the tongue. I think we agree about that. So, let's break the thoughts and feelings that will hinder our goals!
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